New research from Auckland university proves that indigenous Maori were mocked by early European settlers, who claimed their queens were a bunch of men in drag.
New research from Auckland university proves that indigenous Maori were mocked by early European settlers, who claimed their queens were a bunch of men in drag.
People in other countries often assume that because we are neighbours, we are just like each other, and great mates as well. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are more like North and South Korea, Serbia and Croatia, or England and Ireland.
First the big issue, the elephant in the closet. Aussies shag Kangaroos. It is a bizarre obsession, and they do it constantly. In a desperate attempt to cover up this national embarrassment they have even made up a story that Kiwis shag sheep. So despite the fact that this has never happened, they always refer to us as “sheep shaggers”
And the next big one is that they can’t speak English properly. So again they have made up a story to cover up the embarrassing truth. Because there are some vowels they can’t pronounce, they claim that they have no issues with their own speech, and it’s Kiwis that are wrong.
The most famous example is “fish and chips” Aussies can’t pronounce either of these words so they say “feesh and cheeps”. Although anyone who can speak English properly can hear this obvious balls up, as a cover story they accuse Kiwis of saying “fush and chups”
Then there is the whole Rugby thing. Aussies are obsessed with Rugby, it’s their national sport, but they are not very good at it. In fact every time there is a NZ vs Aus test match they get totally spanked by the All Blacks, and have their arses handed to them on a plate.
So in typical Aussie fashion they have invented their own version of Rugby that no other country plays. It’s even called “Aussie Rules”. Odd looking men in tight shorts wrestle about in a homoerotic fashion in front of stadiums filled with drunken Aussies fantasizing that they are watching some public roo shagging.
Another issue of great contention is the Pavlova theft. Australia was originally set up by the English as a penal colony – a place to ship all their criminals to, and get rid of them once and for all. So Aussies, in between shagging kangaroos, like to steal things. It’s in their blood.
At some point they decided to steal our national pudding, claim they invented it, and then to add insult to injury, they now claim we stole it from them.
An area that Australia really is world famous for, is feminism. NZ was the first country in the world to give women the vote, and New Zealand is ranked number 4 behind Iceland, Norway and Sweden on the Women in Work Index.
Australia meanwhile, is just famous for its angry militant feminists.
An Aussie “feminist” called Clementine Ford regularly makes headlines for saying things like “Have you killed any men today? – If not, why not?” And the scary thing is that she is not a stand up comedienne taking the piss out of femnazis. She is a regular Aussie femnazi!
While these things are some of the more critical issues for any Kiwi to keep in mind, I suppose I had better add in another key fact for overseas readers. Australia is a vast desert with hardly any people in it, just millions of dingos and kangaroos. They have the most poisonous spiders and snakes of any country, their rivers are filled with crocodiles and the surrounding sea is filled with sharks.
New Zealand has no dangerous or poisonous animals. None at all. We just have millions of sheep and soft cuddly possums. Australia has possums too, but theirs are really ugly looking things. And that is an analogy for the whole NZ vs Aus thing. Yes we have similarities, but in every case NZ is totally superior.
A NZ possum – we have over 30 million of these cute animals, and they are treated like a national treasure
Australia has more than 30 creatures that can kill someone in less than the time it takes to post a Twitter status update “I’ve been swimming with some friendly jellyfeesh but now I feel a bit sheet so I’m going to…”
Both countries are well aware of these underlying truths, but only one has dedicated the past century to making up ever more deranged stories in a desperate attempt to disguise the fact that they can’t say “chips”
When a friend said she remembered Cuba Street as being “bohemian” in 97, I laughed and said that by 97 it had already become a safe space for office dwellers to visit and pretend they were living dangerously.
Later I dug out my “Cuba Street 92” calendar from my treasure trove – all of these photos are from that calendar and were taken in 91. When we opened our bike shop “Cycle Services” in 1991, Cuba Street was not just where you went for a grunty coffee or some second hand stuff, it was also the first place to go to for drugs and prostitutes.
Now I’ll go on about drugs a bit here. I was new to all this scene, and to me “drugs” basically meant smoking some pot or maybe spotting some oil.
As a cyclist I was pretty familiar with ephedrine which was actually still legal in NZ in 91 and was very popular, used as a sort of everyday speed. When it was outlawed it just went underground like all the other drugs.
Most people use coffee for the same purpose now. And coffee in Cuba St was said to be some of the strongest in the world.
The first time I walked in on a drug deal my eyes nearly popped out of my head. A respectable looking man in a suit, with a large brief case, had it open and was discussing bulk pricing with a couple of our bike shop customers on the huge range of drugs that he had samples of.
Apart from pot, the popular one in Wellington in those days was acid. But you could buy anything you wanted really, including heroin. I was told the cocaine was a rip off in NZ, and that was why nobody here was much into it.
What Wellington was infamous for in 91 was glue sniffers. And sometimes Cuba St was like zombie dawn of the dead. Deranged glue sniffers everywhere, staggering about, holding their plastic bags and drooling.
Some of the people on the street were fairly tough, and just up the road was the BP’s (Black Power) who ran a tinny house ($20 foil wrapped servings of pretty average pot). But you didn’t take photos of the BP’s, you casually crossed the road when you saw them coming, so there are no photos of them here!
This was in the days before digital cameras, and mobile phones had only just come out. They cost $3000 and were the size of a brick. This next photo was taken in front of the second hand book shop next door to us (note our Cycles Peloton sign in the top left). And the poor guy in the photo was stabbed to death a few months later…
Our neighbours on the other side were Midnight Espresso, the legendary coffee shop, and this is a young Geoff Marsland (Havana Coffee Works) in our doorway
Although I did have a camera, I didn’t take many photos because buying film and developing it was expensive. Part of why I started taking thousands of photos when I got my first digital camera a decade later is because I knew just what I had missed getting photos of back in the early 90’s. And some of them would have been quite something.
I guess this is all looks like a window back to an old forgotten time now, but as a young and impressionable munter, this was the environment that shaped me. And even now I’m partly still a guy from old time Cuba St, rather than an over the hill computer addict.
When I hear millennials getting offended by lame bullshit I wish I could push a button and transplant them to Cuba Street in 91. It was an amazing place, but some of them might just have gotten their whingeing faggy heads smacked in…
All photos taken by Barry Thomas
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Agent orange being sprayed over Vietnam 1970 |
AGENT ORANGE WAS BURIED UNDER NEW PLYMOUTH
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An aerial view of the Ivon Watkins Dow factory and land that is now adjacent housing subdivision, taken in 1967 from company's annual report. |
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Andrew Gibbs |
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The Chemical plant as it is today. The Factory had been extended towards the town. |
Over the past few years the bike companies have milked the golden goose to death, selling NZ$10K - $15k bikes to clueless numpties by convincing them cycling is all about having a flash bike. But it never really was, and that lie is slowly taking them down.
Despite clearance sales of up to 30% off, high end bikes
are still sitting unsold on shop floors for upwards of NZ$10k, but who on
earth is spending that much on a bike in a recession?
Last year big companies like Trek and Giant announced massive production cut backs, along with half price sales, but they still just couldn't move all the unsold bikes.
Part of the reason for this, that is seldom mentioned, is that in the real world, if the ride was say up to the top of a 500m hill, and then back down again, a hardtail XC bike would only be about 1 min slower than a big flash freeride rig coming down, but would easily be 15 mins faster going up, so would be 14 mins faster overall in an actual ride.
DOES ANYONE EVEN CARE ABOUT THE SIS ANYMORE?
NZ Security Intelligence Service director Rebecca Kitteridge - for some reason these psychopaths always look like trannies...